In a press conference this afternoon, the Home Secretary Sajid Javid confirmed that the Home Office will shortly be renamed the ‘Fuck Off Home Office’ to reflect their new hostile environment policy. 

He said, ‘Too many people seem to be spending all of their adult lives working in Britain and making a contribution to society while labouring under the impression that we won’t tell them to just fuck off home when the UKIP nutters get within a gnat’s hair of power.

‘Take the Windrush situation for example. That was all well and good, but let’s face it – Jamaica is lovely this time of year.’

’I watched Cool Runnings too once. Marvellous film.’

A spokesperson for Theresa May confirmed that Mr Javid’s job title will be changed to ‘Fuck Off Home Secretary,’ with the Foreign Office being rebranded as the, ‘We Don’t Need No Foreigners Office.’