‘I am going to be sleeping in my parliamentary office this evening so I am able to carry out my duties as a member of Parliament no matter what the weather tomorrow,’ confirmed no MPs whatsoever earlier today.

There was speculation for a while that somebody in Westminster would follow the lead of thousands of NHS workers in the United Kingdom’s hospital, but this quickly faded when a prominent Conservative MP tweeted a photo of their log fire at home with a glass of vintage port.

It was accompanied with the caption, ‘Camembert or Stilton? #BeastFromTheEast.’

It has also been reported today that hordes of young Tories have been spotted roaming the streets of Oxford, chipping off pieces of frozen homeless people and putting them in storage for the upcoming Pimms season alongside the cucumber and orange wedges.

A spokesperson for the office of Jeremy Hunt confirmed that the Health and Social Care Secretary has been personally directing the NHS response to the Winter Health Crisis during this period of bad weather from the comfort of his Twitter account.