Twats all over the United Kingdom have come out in force this morning to ask why it isn’t headline news when they declare they are straight.

In the majority of cases, a brief Facebook profile browse for each of these individuals has also revealed that they feel it is perfectly OK to be white.

Barry Fuch-Weet, an avid social commentator from Southend who feels that whatever ‘they’ get up to behind closed doors is their business because apparently all homosexual couples copulate wantonly in public every eleven seconds, unless of course it’s a couple of fit girls going at it because that’s hot as fuck, told us that being straight all of his life has been a massive struggle.

He added, ‘Where’s my fucking parade then?’

‘I still remember the day when I had to tell my family that my sexual preferences conformed with the majority of society’s attitudes. It was heartbreaking.’