The newly-formed Indepedent Group has told Theresa May that they will support her in any upcoming House of Commons votes on Brexit in return for a billion.
At a press conference this morning, MP Chuka Umunna added that they wouldn’t even bang on about the gays and dinosaurs and whatever.
He said, ‘Mrs May should get her chequebook out a bit lively.’
‘It goes up by £100m every time another MP joins us.’
Mr Umunna was asked where the money would be going.
He replied, ‘Mind your own fella. Does this look like a registered political party to you?’
Another journalist asked if this would be a traditional ‘Confidence and Supply’ arrangement.
He replied, ‘Not in the biblical sense, no.’
‘This is more of a ‘Give Us A Cool Bil Or You’re Completely Bollocksed’ arrangement.’