Jeremy Corbyn has been declared the new Prime Minister after Chris Grayling was left in charge of the Conservative leadership poll.

According to sources within 10 Downing Street, the decision cannot be reversed for at least six years because of a technicality written into the Magna Carta.

One insider said, ‘It’s a real mess.’

‘Apparently the results were passed to the minister for verification, and on the legally-binding memo he put down the name of the leader of the opposition, along with a shopping list for Waitrose and a drawing of a naked lady.’

‘Once the paperwork had been rubber stamped on his desk, it was irreversible.’

‘It’s an easy mistake to make. Both names have a ‘J’ in them somewhere.’