Larry The Cat, Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office, has confirmed that he has resigned from his post with immediate effect.
After Brexit Secretary David Davis and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson resigned in a turbulent day for Prime Minister Theresa May, Larry told a press conference that Brexit was fast developing into ‘something that he would expect to find in his litter tray after an all night bender on Dreamies and Nip.’
He added, ‘I went along to the Brexit Cabinet meeting at Chequers last week, and as soon as Theresa started reeling off her list of demands I immediately turned around, lifted my tail and showed her my balloon knot in disgust.’
‘I just lost my cool and walked out of the room, before I returned five minutes later and sat meowing at the door until someone opened it for me, at which point I just sat there and carried on meowing to be a dick.’
When asked if he had any thoughts about a replacement, he told the audience that he was confident that it would be ‘that fucking pussy’ Michael Gove.