Liverpool FC officials and players have been celebrating today after being given a guaranteed three-week unbeaten run.
According to manager Jurgen Klopp, the enforced Premier League shutdown due to Coronavirus will ‘show that little shit with the letter they’re back in business.’
In a press conference, he said, ‘The season was going to bollocks anyway, and there’s absolutely no chance that the league will get to April 3rd, see that the government’s ‘delay’ plans were a load of wank, and then cancel the season altogether in a moment that would be like Slippy G and Demba Ba times a thousand.’
In a combined statement from the Football Association and the Premier League, it has been confirmed that even in the event that the season is cancelled altogether, West Ham United would still be relegated.
They said, ‘Even though they aren’t currently in the bottom three, nobody actually likes them anyway so we’ll just stiff them again over the whole Tevez thing or whatever.’