In a special report and investigation, Southend News Network has discovered that a growing number of local councils are now banning lollipop men and women from high-fiving pupils over concerns that the act may be sexually arousing for them. 

The new zero-tolerance approach has been introduced in many cases because of a study by the University of Oxford all about the concept of frappophilia. 

This is the term given to the sexual arousal that results from the sudden and sharp contact of a ‘hand on hand nature.’

Professor Michael MacManus was in charge of the pioneering research, and he told our Chief Reporter that local authorities were ‘justified’ in their approach. 

He said: ‘One of the most fascinating elements of our research into frappophilia was that out of the 2000 individuals that we spoke to, there was an almost-even split between people who were aroused by the contact and those who got a sexual thrill purely from the high-pitched sharp noise of a clapping motion.’

‘The term ‘frappophilia’ itself comes from the French word for ‘clapping’ as the verb is frapper, and while some frappophiles need that one-to-one contact to achieve arousal (such as the act of high-fiving a child), others can simply launch into a solitary round of applause to achieve the same effect.’

‘Many of the participants of our survey are so far along the frappophilia spectrum that they cannot attend theatre productions for fear that they will lose control entirely.’

Shortly after our meeting with the professor, we were contacted by a concerned sufferer who wanted to tell his own harrowing story – we have agreed to keep his identity a secret. 

He said: ‘Local councils have every right to be concerned about this. I am 36 years old, and my condition has stopped me from being able to form meaningful relationships throughout my adult life.’

‘It doesn’t help that there are a growing number of websites dedicated to fulfilling the desires of people like me. My addiction to ‘frap fapping’ can get so bad that there are days when I won’t even leave the house.’

We took this evidence directly to the Association for Local Government Road Safety Initiatives, the organisation responsible for regulating school crossing patrols in the UK. 

Patrick Schmoog of the ALGRSI said: ‘Our official guidance for local councils is that interactions like high-fiving children should be discouraged because it is a distraction for other drivers – there is no sexual element to our advice whatsoever.’

‘If you are waiting in an idle vehicle while children are crossing, it has been proven that seeing a child being high-fived by an individual with a lollipop and hi-vis clothing could make you drive away and hit a tree.’

‘We would suggest that crossing operators simply give a thumbs-up to children as this promotes the concept of safe crossing. This thumb should however be concealed by the palm of the opposite hand so that drivers are not exposed to it, which may mean that the lollipop has to be held upright between the operator’s knees.’