At a press conference in San Francisco earlier today, the head of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook’s news feed will now begin to prioritise photos of Mark Zuckerberg over other forms of content.

In a passionate speech, Zuckerberg said that he had taken the decision after a recent update about news feeds prioritising content from friends and family attracted ‘megatons of engagement.’

He said: ‘Shortly after I announced to the world that Facebook would soon begin to prioritise content from friends and family over publishers (because let’s face it, nobody is using Facebook to actually make a living, are they), I noticed that the post I put out there got a crazy amount of engagement.’

‘I thought about it long and hard, and that’s when I realised that it must have had something to do with having a photo of Mark Zuckerberg attached to it.’

‘Therefore, this is the clearest sign yet about what our users want to see, and so from the beginning of March anyone who posts an image of Mark Zuckerberg will enjoy higher levels of engagement and prominence in news feed.’

‘This will be a three month trial, so at the beginning of June we may tweak it slightly by encouraging pages to pay for boosting if they want to post an image of Mark Zuckerberg.’

‘By the end of 2018, we will have made a final decision about whether or not we should penalise people for posting images of Mark Zuckerberg, preferably with a facial expression that gives the idea that Mark Zuckerberg is in the middle of a sentence.’

At thus stage, Mr Zuckerberg was asked by a journalist if images of Mark Zuckerberg would appear higher than Islamophobic memes and adverts for JuicePlus.

He replied ‘Our shareholders have concluded that this would be financial suicide.’