The BBC has responded to mass male criticism of their female on-air talent at the World Cup in Russia by advising anyone offended to immediately chill their vaginas and take a deep breath. 

In reply, football fan Dave Gammon from Basildon called the BBC and ITV ‘disgraceful’ for employing commentator Vicki Sparks as well as players Eni Aluko and Alex Scott as pundits.

He added, ‘I don’t give a shit if they have represented England at the highest possible level – this is social engineering gone mad.’

Dave’s wife Pamela said, ‘He hasn’t got a leg to stand on when he says that I shouldn’t watch football as I don’t know what’s going on.’

’He watches 40+ Essex Wives xxx on Sky every night and he’s fucking useless in the sack.’