A 24-year-old mum from Essex who is living her best life was arrested and charged today after she uploaded a selfie to Facebook and forgot to add bunny ears, a nose and a variety of other wanky modifications.
Michelle Garridge will appear in front of magistrates at Southend District Court next week where she will face charges of communicating reality and posting with intent to inform.
Essex Police said, ‘A female has now been released on bail after her unedited face and shoulders were posted to Facebook.’
‘It would appear that the image was visible for around nine minutes before it was removed, and it would have been seen by 67 people.’
‘This factor will be included in sentencing – she can expect to receive around ten years.’
‘We would like to remind the general public that animal filters are there for a reason – why the hell wouldn’t you want your descendants to look back in a hundred years’ time and think that you were brought up in a branch of Pets At Home.’
Michelle’s mum Esso said, ‘When she first posted the photo, I just looked at it and thought, ‘Who the hell is that?’
‘She didn’t even have the slightly enlarged eyes that apparently turn anyone into an instant ‘10.’
In another development, a leading researcher has revealed that anyone who fancies a girl based upon a modified animal face picture is actually f*cked in the head.
Dr Irving Schmerling of the University Of East Essex said, ‘You’re basically saying that you want to shag an animal, you sick bastard.’