A mother of three from Southend On Sea in Essex has confirmed that she will be spending the entire Christmas holidays on Facebook asking other local mums in mum groups if there is anything on.

Michelle Garridge told our Chief Reporter that if she gets bored with that, she will then resort to moaning about everything being really busy at a time when every child in the entire United Kingdom isn’t at school.

She added, ‘I reckon I can stretch this out to two weeks, easy.’

‘My eldest two are addicted to Fortnite anyway, and the latest set of Snapchat filters are well lush.’

Samantha Spooge-Murphy is the admin user of Essex Mums, Mummery and Mumming inc. Amateur Paediatrician Magazine, and she told Southend News Network that her group offers multiple opportunities for people who want to ask if there is anything on, while simultaneously scrolling past hundreds of other messages describing exactly what is on.

She said, ‘Users can also take part in our regular amateur paediatrics sessions.’

‘We’re going to make it all a bit more democratic this year and allow people to vote on photos, with options including, ‘Go Boots,’ ‘Call Ambulance,’ and ‘Don’t bother ringing doctars there always busy because of the immgrunts what don’t speak English.’

Another poster said, ‘The ‘looking for recommendations’ tool is particularly useful.’

‘I can ask for things to do in Basildon, and then all it takes is one person suggesting a soft play centre in Outer Mongolia and the attached map zooms out to cover the entire known universe.’