A mum from Essex has voted for immediate industrial action just 30 minutes into home schooling her five-year-old Alfie.

The whole family are currently self-isolating at home, and according to sources the wildcat strike action was triggered after he managed to ask 341 questions in that initial half-hour period.

It is thought that 75% of these were ‘Did the Tyrannosaurus rex become extinct because they couldn’t wash their hands?’

We spoke to mum Michelle Garridge this morning.

She said, ‘How the fuck does his normal teacher resist the urge to hide in the A3 paper tray of the photocopier in the corridor?’

‘It was bad enough that he insisted on spending the first ten minutes telling me about everything he did yesterday, even though I was with him for all of it.’