A spokesperson for Nintendo has confirmed that the entire worldwide company has gone out of business after sales just ‘died completely’ as a result of Stormy Daniels’ announcement that President Trump has a cock like one of the mushrooms from Mario Kart.
Speaking to the press, the console giant’s Hidetoshi Yoshi said that this was a ‘dark day’ for video gaming.
He added, ‘Our global sales of Mario Kart and Super Mario have just stopped completely because nobody wants to kick back and relax while seeing something that makes them think about Trump’s top-heavy wrinkly old wanger.’
‘We have no idea why she couldn’t have chosen a comparable figure with slightly less destructive economic consequences.’
‘Would it have killed her to just say ‘Ted Danson?’
‘Box set sales of Cheers are pretty shit anyway these days.’