The Norfolk Education Board has confirmed that a number of the county’s primary and secondary schools will be closed to pupils on Monday for an INCEST day – all members of staff will be in attendance for vital training about a number of inter-familial relationship issues. 

Darren Brotherton is the chief executive of the NEB, and he spoke to Southend News Network earlier today.

He said: ‘In a number of rural areas throughout the county, we have noticed a sharp rise in the number of children who are growing up and becoming their own in-law – naturally these untraditional relationships in the home are leading to further training needs in a school environment.’

‘We have had a number of serious disclosures over the last academic year, including one girl who told a member of staff that her baby sister had been born with seven fingers on each foot. All of the relevant emotional support needs will be covered during this non-pupil day.’

‘The day’s training will also include a session about our upcoming ‘Beyond The Home’ initiative. This groundbreaking scheme is designed to educate children from a very young age that there are relationship possibilities out there that don’t involve sharing virtually identical DNA.’

‘We understand that it can be difficult sometimes growing up in a family home with the closest neighbours living 25 miles away.’

We asked Mr Brotherton if there are plans in place to improve education provision regarding inter-species breeding as well.

He said: ‘To a certain extent, this topic goes hand in hand with everything else that we have been discussing – ten schools will be trialling a course of study about the key issues.’

‘No Speak, No Love’ is a series of six lessons that can be adapted for all age groups, and it teaches children that a partner cannot be honest about having a sexually-transmitted infection if they are only able to communicate by sniffing your leg and dry humping an armchair.’

‘We have been forced to take affirmative action after an unfortunate incident just outside of Hunstanton in 2014. A black Labrador is still receiving counselling over it.’