A nurse from Southend On Sea in Essex has been describing her immeasurable levels of joy today after she walked into her local newsagents and purchased a Freddo with her immense pay rise.
Witnesses described how A&E nurse Natasha Pendulum-Smith strutted into Patel’s Multi-Mart in North Road ‘like the guy in Monopoly who drives the little car,’ before casually laying her silver down on the counter and asking for the amphibian-shaped Dairy Milk treat.
Ms Pendulum-Smith added, ‘Don’t listen to what my colleagues in the industry are saying – I am definitely a baller now.’
‘After I finish this Freddo, I am going to march straight into my nearest Maserati dealership and put a deposit down on something with a five-year waiting list, and then I will probably pick up a nice little private island in the Caribbean.’
However, there may be more troubling news on the horizon after hospital parking chiefs announced that there may be a 55% price hike to cover the astronomical increase in the national staffing budget.