A spokesperson for Ofcom has confirmed that all of the 24,000 complaints that have been received over Diversity’s performance on Britain’s Got Talent will be recycled into ‘Angerw*nk Tissues’ and then sent to everyone who felt the need to complain.
According to the regulator, this move will be both environmentally friendly and compassionate, giving anyone who got upset the chance to five-knuckle shuffle the rage away.
Ofcom’s Jerome Robsonne added, ‘Well this has been a monumental waste of fucking time, hasn’t it?’
‘To be fair, 23,800 of the 24,000 complaints were just people head butting their keyboards while connected to our enquiries form in the vague hope that the end result would somehow convey their annoyance at high-profile celebrities calling out racism for the shitshow that it really is.’
Gary Garyson was one of those who complained, and he told us that he would be taking it all the way to the European Court of Human Rights.
He added, ‘I’m going to take this all the way to the Europe … ah bollocks.’