A 43-year-old single man from Southend On Sea has told Southend News Network that he refuses to remove the hi-visibility FIRE WARDEN jacket that he is allowed to permanently wear in the office. 

Norris Weepaloni has been working at the Chattrix call centre in Victoria Road for 18 months now, and he revealed to our Chief Reporter that the £3.99 garment gives him a ‘huge sense of authority both at the workplace and in his home life.’

He said: ‘I didn’t complete a 45-minute online course to then simply throw the jacket in a drawer and wait for an inferno that may never happen. Whatever the weather, I make sure that I always have it on so that people know exactly who they can turn to when they have any fire safety-related concerns.’

‘I don’t like to toot my own horn, but some of the ladies love it as well. I’m keeping my options open at the moment, but there is one bit of skirt here that I have my eye on right now. Who will stand out in the office no matter what everyone else is wearing? This guy!’

Nigel did a double thumbs-up at this point and pointed them both at himself.

‘My mum tried to wash it last Thursday just a few minutes before I was due to meet everyone for our monthly work social in The Last Post. Luckily I grabbed it back from the laundry basket in time.’

He admitted that his technique with the ladies may need a little refinement, but also that at the same time he is ‘acutely aware’ that the reflective clothing is a great ice breaker.

Nigel added: ‘I am yet to meet a member of our town’s good lady folk who fails to be impressed when I can reel off the different fire extinguisher colour codes without a moment’s thought.’

‘Some men can rap, others have a six-pack, br how many eligible batchelors out there can unfold an Evac-Chair in seven seconds? They can forget ‘snog’ and ‘avoid’ when they meet me!’