Parents all over the United Kingdom have been celebrating today after it was confirmed that Bing has contracted the usually fatal viral disease myxomatosis.
According to reports, it may have been transmitted through unspecified unprotected activity with Pando.
Speaking to reporters earlier, guardian Flop said that he ‘had it coming.’
He added, ‘It will just be something else for the little bugger to moan about at the end of every episode.’
‘Except this time there won’t be any moral or happy ending. Fatal illness. It’s a Bing thing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.’
‘To be fair, I don’t know how much longer I could have carried on for anyway. He’s three times my size for Christ’s sake.’
‘I honestly wish that melodramatic little mood hoover all the best in his future endeavours.’
‘If anyone wants me, I’ll be in the Caribbean.’
There were originally reports that other CBeebies characters had been rallying around to try and find a cure for their colleague.
However, it soon emerged that they were just throwing an impromptu party celebrating his demise.
Speaking exclusively to us at the event, Duggee added, through an interpreter, ‘This is just the tip of the iceberg. One by one, we will rid this channel of every single over-entitled prick.’
‘Topsy and Tim will be next. They’ve been five years old since the end of the last Gulf War and it’s time they were sorted on a permanent basis.’
‘Just give their mum her own show. F**k me I’d ride her into next August – Duggee and the Reverse Cowgirl Badge.’