In an unprecedented move this evening, an emergency session of the House of Commons voted to change the United Kingdom’s national anthem from ‘God Save The Queen’ to ‘Ain’t No Pleasing You’ by Chas And Dave. 

According to speeches that were made before the vote was taken, the move would be both a ‘fitting tribute’ to the recently deceased Chas Hodges and a nod to the fact that everyone who voted for Brexit won’t be pleased until the entire country is in the shitter.

The end result was 641 MPs in favour, with Diane Abbott’s vote being spoiled as she allegedly couldn’t decide between Chas and Dave.

The Leader Of The Opposition Jeremy Corbyn said, ‘This is a fitting tribute to both musicians – true trailblazers in the world of celebrity beards.’

’Until they made it fashionable to sport facial hair, the only bearded people on TV were those dodgy men in Public Information Films trying to lure children into a Morris Minor with a bag of mint imperials.’

A separate motion to change the national anthem of Wales to Mutton Loopy was rejected.

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