A spokesperson for Curry’s PC World has confirmed that they will be trialling BUY STUFF AND GET THE FUCK OUT queues in stores from January 2018.

According to the company, the new lines will allow customers to buy items without having to dedicate six hours of their life to standing and watching someone ask a procession of questions about connecting an external SCSI hard drive to their toaster.

He added: ‘We asked 1000 regular customers if they usually have anything else to do when they come into our shops, and approximately 100% of them said that a visit to PC World didn’t form the entirety of their entire day’s plans.’

‘42% of laptop buyers said that they simply want to pay for their device without having to sit down and go through an interview that is even more rigorous than trying to gain access to the United States of America.’

‘We are also adding another face to the customer service survey stand by our exits. Alongside the angry button, there will now be a ghostly pale face of someone who has literally died of fucking boredom while listening to the person in front ask about a ‘machine that has the Internet on.’

We asked their spokesperson if there was any truth in the rumour that only using the free anti-virus software that is available online would put a PC at risk.’

He said: ‘Yes definitely. Not only will your computer be susceptible to viruses and various security breaches, but it will also catch fire, empty your fridge and sexually molest your hamster Gordon.’

‘Just last week, a Lenovo Yoga using AVG Free leaped out of a little girl’s bedroom and ran away to Syria to join ISIS.’