A spokesperson for the pet retailer Pets At Home has confirmed that the chain will shortly be rebranding itself as ‘All Animals Matter’ in order to start selling lions to the general public.

A spokesperson said, ‘We feel a deep sense of shame that we have spent so long discriminating against big cats in the domestic pet retail sector.’

‘Our message is a simple one. All animals matter.’

‘Guinea pigs, hamsters and chinchillas are all well and good because they can generally be kept at home without the risk of your whole family being mauled to death, but who are we to assume what people want?’

‘We hope to bring tigers to the UK in 2021 as the first-ever European operator of a Baskin Buddies franchise.’

It is thought that a number of major retailers could soon follow this example.

According to sources within the industry, DFS will soon begin stocking sex swings under their new ‘All Furniture Matters’ image, and Holland And Barrett will be introducing an entire range of food products that contain so many chemicals and e-numbers that the entire line may as well be called ‘Happy Shopper On Acid.’