A primary school in Rochford in Essex has announced that they will be holding a JAYWALK FOR JESUS to raise money for new computers. St Steppout’s Catholic Primary School in Brakes Lane hopes to raise £20,000 by getting sponsorship for children and parents to cross the busy main road outside their school in the most dangerous and inconsiderate manner possible. 

Headteacher Clive Chivey said: ‘Our ICT equipment is in desperate need of upgrading, and Jaywalk for Jesus is all about bringing the school, our children and our parents closer to the local community than ever before.’

‘Before school this Friday, with hopefully plenty of sponsorship in place, we will all gather outside the building and cross over the road at random intervals without paying the slightest bit of attention to passing traffic, road signals, or indeed anything else in the general vicinity.’

‘Some of our parents are really getting into the swing of things and they have offered to park over key pedestrian openings beforehand for a few extra quid.’

‘Although raising these funds is important enough, people should also remember that Jaywalk for Jesus is all about teaching children a vital life lesson about road safety.’

‘They need to realise that motorists pretty much have to stop for you no matter what speed they are doing, even when you have a buggy that sticks out 2 feet past a traffic island.’

Local Community Support Officer Reginald Hittenrun confirmed that he will be in attendance on Friday to ensure that nobody even thinks about looking before stepping out into the road. 

He added: ‘I am delighted to be helping out a very worthy local cause. The event is all about raising awareness of a very important issue.’

‘I hope that Friday’s proceedings will make everyone realise that the average 4×4 driver is just as dangerous outside of their vehicle as when they are inside it.’