A multi-million pound project has been launched by leading scientists to finally figure out the lyrics to the first verse of Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues.

Audibility experts and quantum physicists from the University Of West Horndon in Essex have joined forces to try and come to a solid conclusion about whatever the fuck Shane MacGowan is banging on about.

The work is being lead by Professor Lousi Fagot, and he told us that they are close to finishing the first line after just eight weeks’ work.

He added, ‘We are making excellent progress from our original starting point of ‘hnng nuur crussmusseve unurr.’

’It’s a bizarre phenomenon. Everyone in Britain knows it word perfect after eleven pints, but at the same time nobody has ever thought of getting it down on paper.’