Her Majesty The Queen Elizabeth II stormed into Boris Johnson’s office today to tell him that she had ‘had enough’ and would be taking over the country with immediate effect.

A witness said, ‘She kicked the main doors down, walked up to Boris, knocked his mobile phone away with her mitre and said, ‘The hell’s goin’ on motherfucker? You want me to let you suspend Parliament?’

‘How about I suspend you from Westminster Bridge by your wrinkly nadger pouch you simpering pissweasel?’

‘She added, ‘You forget who’s really in charge, bitch? How much longer are you sticking around for?’

‘Until a general election? Aint no monarch got time fo’ dat. Consider yourself revoked.’

‘After the Prime Minister had mumbled something about Jeremy Corbyn wanting to go against the democratic will of the people, she grabbed Boris’ boxer shorts from behind, lifted them upwards sharply, and gave him some sort of Royal Wedgie.’

‘While Boris was howling on the floor in agony, she bellowed, ‘You could’t run a fuckin’ nose, fam.’

‘Parliament’s disbanded blud. Try and stop me and I’ll get this Beefeater to bust a cap in yo’ ass.’