A spokesperson for Royal Mail has confirmed that residents of Southend On Sea will soon be able to give their address as Thamestown if they wish to avoid embarassment.

According to a recent survey of people and businesses in the town, 74% of local people would rather not admit that they live there when shopping online or applying for credit cards, and sorting office computers will be updated to automatically make sure that any items end up in the South Essex resort.

Long-time resident Dave Fringe told Southend News Network that he will immediately be taking advantage.

He said, ‘I will definitely be giving my address as Thamestown instead of Southend.’

‘In fact, I think I would rather tell Amazon that I live in Cockpissfannybattertown than admit to residing in this Tory-led Sodom.’