A spokesperson for the International Olympic Committee has confirmed that scrolling through the main menu on Netflix without actually picking anything to watch has been added to the 2020 Tokyo Olympics as a trial event.
Great Britain are already being tipped as the hot favourites to take home the gold, and the exact rules were confirmed at a press conference in Zurich this morning.
Spokesperson Jerome Robsonne said, ‘Competitors collect five points for every sixty seconds that passes, along with bonus points in a number of categories.’
‘For example, every additional viewer ‘profile piggybacking’ on your subscription for nothing gets you five extra points, and falling asleep within sixty seconds of just putting any old shit on is a further ten.’
‘In the event that Netflix has to ask you if you are still alive, you are automatically disqualified.’
At an exhibition event last year, a development panel decided that no spectators under the age of five should be allowed due to them consistently taking over the equipment and demanding ‘surprise egg’ and slime videos that are available on YouTube for free in spite of the fact that you’re paying the best part of a tenner a month for Netflix, plus Christ knows how much for Sky or Virgin.
There have also been concerns about girlfriends taking part due to their constant repetition of ‘I dunno. You pick something.’ and then acting like you’ve just presented them with a video about eating live kittens.