Seven Labour MPs have quit the party and will now sit in the House of Commons as the ‘Wah Wah Wah Nobody’s Listening To Me Party.’

According to a leaked email that we have seen, every day in Westminster for the small group will begin at 6am with a naked meditation session offering a small blood sacrifice to a bronze statue of Tony Blair.

A source said, ‘It’s a smart move all round. Everyone knows that the best way to fight against a massive division is to form your own massive division.’

‘These guys are so centrist that they could sit on a fence panel for hours nuzzling their rude areas without falling off.’

In another development, there has already been a major disagreement and three of the seven have broken away to form the ‘Social Democrat Wah Wah Wah Nobody’s Listening To Me Party.’