A Slimming World meeting descended into chaos this evening after a member stripped naked because she had only lost half a pound in weight. 

According to witnesses at the weight loss gathering at the Michael Barrymore Community Centre in Basildon, 38-year-old Shelley Adams-Flump was so angry at the small weight loss amount that she removed her trousers.

One said, ‘This obviously didn’t make a difference, so she carried on removing layer after layer until she was completely Billy Bollocks.’

’By this point, the consultant had already given up and tried to divert everyone’s attention by starting the next bit where they all talk in a circle about their feelings and how they have managed to make a syn-free cake out of couscous that is actually a tweak, God save their mortal soul.’

’As soon as she threatened to remove her silicon implants as well the police were called.’

Another witness said, ‘Tensions were already at breaking point before she stepped onto the scales.’

’The person in front of her managed to lose three pounds during the week, even though she had eaten three Chinese takeaways and gone to her sister’s birthday meal three days earlier.’

’Shelley threatened to stab her to death with a Hi-Fi Bar.’

A police spokesperson confirmed that during the subsequent police interview, Ms Adams-Flump said that she was acting under the stress of Müller Lights now being one syn each.