A spokesperson for Southend Borough Council has confirmed that a warehouse close to the A127 is currently being filled with Lambrini and Space Raiders in preparation for a no deal Brexit. 

The contingency plan was drawn up after analysts calculated that less than three days without either of the two staples would lead to civil unrest and a ‘danger to life.’

Local Mum Michelle Garridge said, ‘I remember the 2016 Lambrini riots in Southend.’

’A broken down lorry one Friday evening meant that local bars and off licences weren’t restocked, and everywhere had been drunk dry by 8pm.’

’I lost three good friends that night.’