A spokesperson for Southend Council has confirmed that a new seafront parking charge scheme will come into force from 1st July 2019 that will offer completely free parking to any hot girls who turn up in a bikini.
The decision has been taken after ‘overwhelming feedback’ was received over the 2018 Summer Season that there weren’t enough ‘sorts’ sunbathing in the area between Chalkwell Beach and Thorpe Bay.
Derek Spaffwhich is the local authority officer in charge of the scheme, and he told Southend News Network that the new offer ‘would benefit everyone.’
He added, ‘Every seafront car park will have an attendant in the high season that will assess each car arriving on an individual basis, and an eight-hour free pass will be allocated to any vehicle that has at least one bikini clad lady who registers as ‘8’ or higher.’
‘Anyone scoring ’10’ or beyond will also be given a voucher entitling them to a thirty-minute private session in the seafront fountains with a Southend Tourism photographer present.’
We asked Mr Spaffwhich if there were any plans to offer a similar scheme for guys who turn up topless with a six-pack and rippling biceps.
He replied, ‘To be fair we have plenty of those already whenever the temperature reaches higher than six degrees Celsius, although they have a bit of a temper, incredibly small testicles and a Staffie Terrier called ‘Tyson’ on a chain.’
According to sources within the council, there are also plans to add a 50p surcharge for anyone turning up with a gunt.