A controversial survey completed on behalf of the UK government, by Southend Borough Council’s statisics department, shows the town’s general population is highly geared towards mindless and repetitive tasks.

‘The measurements, which took in the population’s leisure time activities amongst other indicators, found that endurance times for Mahjong, Candy Crush Saga, Bubble Shooter, Bejeweled Blitz and Farm Heroes Saga, surpass those of any other council,’ the survey writes in its conclusions.

A spokesman for Southend Borough Council told SNN: ‘Clearly this shows Southend’s population are more than capable to take on the mind numbing tedium and relentless repetition factory facilities like this naturally require. The fact that there is little or no reward won’t stop the community taking up the jobs once the site, or sites, are up and running.’

SNN welcomes the potential lift in employment the factories will introduce to the area. A further benefit is the fact there will be a rebalancing of Southend’s employed gender mix. It is believed that Southend’s female employment figures will be brought in line with the general employment figures for the town’s male population, once the factories start production.