Tottenham Hotspur have released a statement this afternoon declaring that their season is now over after beating Arsenal 1-0 at home. 

It has also been confirmed that a 12-DVD box set of today’s game will be available from Monday, with the Blu-Ray edition also including a bonus disc featuring Harry Kane’s winner slowed down by 200,000 times.

We spoke to Spurs fan Nikos Minicabb after the final whistle, once he had calmed down by receiving a number of drugs usually reserved for patients suffering from tachycardia.

He said: ‘This is what it’s all about!’

’The best thing about all of this is that we can all celebrate like it is a huge upset beating Arsenal, even though technically we have been on the same level for at least five years now.’

’We’re all twats like that.’