In a landmark ruling at the Supreme Court in London, it has been confirmed that the BBC must play the full, uncensored version of Running The World including multiple mentions of the word ‘c*nts’ in the event that the Jarvis Cocker tune makes it into the Christmas Charts this week.

Speaking after the hearing, Supreme Justice Lord Majesty Justice Custis said, ‘We carefully considered the BBC’s counter argument that putting the word ‘c*nts’ on primetime TV and radio at a time when children would be exposed to it could be potentially harmful.’

‘However, we are mindful that such censorship would completely change the artistic integrity and meaning of the tune itself.’

‘It would be like telling The Louvre to make the Mona Lisa’s collar a bit higher because she is showing a bit of tit, or demanding that Michaelangelo’s David wear a wooly willy warmer in case a visitor uses it as an improvised dildo.’

‘Therefore, as the highest court in the land, we must now insist that the full line of ‘C*nts are still ruling the world’ is played unedited, on each of the 12 occasions that it comes up.’

A spokesperson for the BBC said, ‘We accept the Supreme Court’s ruling. From an editorial perspective, we won’t have an issue with showing unedited c*nts on screen as we regularly screen repeats of Mrs Brown’s Boys anyway.’

HELP GET RUNNING THE WORLD TO NUMBER ONE THIS CHRISTMAS BY DOWNLOADING IT FROM AMAZON HERE AND APPLE MUSIC HERE, BECAUSE BRITAIN IS PRETTY MUCH BEING RUN BY C*NTS AT THE MOMENT.

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