A joint statement has been released by Tesco and ASDA to confirm that they are not ‘Tescos’ and ‘ASDAs’ – names that for some reason seem to be used by around 95% of the population of the United Kingdom.

Executives of the two chains are reportedly ‘baffled’ about where the extra ‘S’ has come from.

The statement read, ‘We have lost count of the number of people posting on Facebook with things like ‘What time does ASDAs open?’ or ‘Does anyone know that the returns policy is on used lingerie in Tescos?’

‘When you stand outside our respective stores, do you see an extra ‘S’ on the end of our logos?’

‘Do you have some sort of strange condition where you can only shop somewhere if it ends with an ‘S?’

‘Aldi and Lidl seem to have the same problem as well, and we have checked their signs too – you guessed it, no ‘S’ at the end.’

‘You Facebook huns can’t even use the excuse that you are talking in terms of the possessive voice, as in that you are going to the site that is owned by Tesco or ASDA, because half of you don’t even remember the apostrophe.’

‘More to the point, most of you that do remember to stick one in think that you are making the store name plural anyway.’

Michelle Garridge is a regular Facebook user, and she called the announcement ‘rubbish.’

She added, ‘What a load of rubbish. I’m not going to change the way that I refer to supermarkets, be it Tescos, ASDAs, Aldis, Lidls, Farmfoodses, whatever …’

‘English is a dynamic language, in so far and so near as it is constantly evolving by the people who speak it.’