A text conversation between a woman and her 59-year-old mother had ‘…’ on the screen for 53 minutes before the word ‘OK’ was sent earlier today.

According to Michelle Garridge, she had time to make a cup of tea, take the two dogs for a walk, and even finish the first four chapters of her memoir while her mother Bipi constructed the two-letter response on her iPhone this afternoon.

She added, ‘I’m not really surprised by this at all.’

‘On Facebook she still finishes every single comment with her full name, and last week she just posted ‘Happy Birthday’ as a status update on her own wall, believing that the good wishes would magically find their intended recipient.’

‘I try and ignore most things that she posts now. She keeps sharing memes about ‘the good old days’ from Neo-Nazi Facebook pages without realising that she is inadvertently fuelling the rise of far-right extremism in the United Kingdom just because she happens to remember when Vimto tasted like Vimto.’

‘I think the last straw came in 2016 when she spent two weeks on a Caribbean Cruise, accidentally took every single photo in selfie mode and uploaded the lot to Facebook.’