We keep hearing that our government is making contingency plans for Brexit by stockpiling this and stockpiling that, but the fact of the matter is that they are only stockpiling one thing – bullsh*t.
If you take a trip down the M20 (AKA lorry park) towards Folkestone, you will see massive great big warehouses of the stuff.
Apparently our rulers are fully prepared for a ‘no deal’ situation, with ministers lining up to pat us all on the head and say, ‘there, there – everything will be fine.’
Our main negotiating tactic in Brussels so far has been to demand the moon on a stick or ‘we walk.’
Oh ‘we walk’ alright. Straight off a cliff edge and into the English Channel.
This week’s Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has insisted that a deal can be done ‘by October.’
Unless he was talking about selling the movie rights for ‘Honey We Completely F**ked This Up Royally’ to Paramount Pictures, he may be yet another politician living in Cloud Cuckoo Land.
The Gammoneers keep insisting that walking away is the best case scenario to ‘get are British back,’ but these are the same people who seem convinced that row upon row of war graves are somehow legal tender for any Brexit divorce bill.
These are the same people who don’t seem to see anything wrong with sharing disgusting, abusive memes about Gina Miller and pretending that it has absolutely nothing to do with the colour of her skin.
These are the same people who only seem to care about Britain having the right to measure distances in cubic feet again.
Getting another ‘people’s vote’ on the final deal may raise a number of democratic issues, but it might be worth it just to see Britain’s largest-ever collective aneurysm.
They have nothing to fear from another day at the polls. After all, if the whole thing is such a brilliant idea, surely ‘the will of the people’ will back this up.