Sources close to Theresa May have confirmed that the Prime Minister has cancelled the Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt’s passport while he is away negotiating in Paris and Warsaw.

One source told us that Mrs May only sent him abroad as a ruse so that he would be denied re-entry to the United Kingdom, effectively forcing Mr Hunt to spend the next ten years in a refugee camp just outside of Calais.

He added, ‘The second that Mr Hunt’s plane took off from Heathrow this morning, she was straight on the phone to Sajid Javid.’

‘As per their arrangement, Mr Javid asked the Prime Minister to confirm the secret codeword for the operation to strip a British citizen of their own citizenship in a manner that had no legal or ethical foundation whatsoever.’

‘She simply replied, ‘Windrush.’

Reports at Charles De Gaulle Airport in Paris told us that Mr Hunt experienced a great deal of difficulty when he arrived at immigration.

One said, ‘His passport was rejected by the computer, and so they asked him to confirm his business in France.’

‘When he told them that he was in the position of Foreign Secretary due to the merits of his time in charge of the National Health Service, they just assumed he had been inhaling Spice and took him down to a holding cell to come down.’

‘It didn’t help when he tried telling them in French that their actions had ruined his mood, mainly because he confused ‘bonheur’ with ‘branleur’ somehow.’