The Prime Minister Theresa May has informed her Cabinet to try and stretch out this whole Shamima Begum thing for six more weeks. 

According to Mrs May, 96% of the nation’s foaming Brexiteer lunatics have completely forgotten about her crap deal with Brussels because the only thing more phobic than their xenophobia is their Islamophobia.

A source within Downing Street added, ‘We’ve actually got four more lined up and one on standby.’

’If things get really desperate we’ll just shove a burka on that woman who crashed into Prince Philip and tell everyone she has been radicalised.’

’Stick her on the back of an Ikea wardrobe door floating into Dover and we in bizz.’