The UK’s Prime Minister Theresa May has signed a ‘very exciting’ post-Brexit trade deal with Nigeria during a brief visit to the African nation today – the arrangement will begin immediately with a $250m bank transfer from a prominent prince in the region.
Speaking at a press conference this morning, Mrs May told reporters that she had received more than twenty emails about the deal before the visit got underway.
She said, ‘I was originally going to visit South Africa and then head back to the United Kingdom, but a number of emails in my inbox showed me that I should add Nigeria to my tour itinerary.’
‘In return for a favourable set of tariffs that will apply to British goods when they arrive in Nigeria, I have agreed to receive an inheritance payment of $250m for His Most Excellent Excellency Prince Nwankwo Kanu who is having a great deal of difficulty receiving the funds in his own local bank account at the moment.’
‘Apparently his branch is closed for routine polishing until November, so I am delighted to be in a position to help.’
‘I will be keeping the money safe for him before handing it back in person, and as a gesture of gratitude he will allow me to retain $3.5m for the NHS.’
A spokesperson for the Nigerian Department of Trade said, ‘We are delighted to be able to secure our nation’s future supply of Wagon Wheels and Bovril.’
‘We never again want to see the streets of Abuja under martial law due to a shortage of marshmallow and jam-filled chocolate biscuits.’