Residents on Canvey Island have expressed their frustration at a decision to scrap a new link road to the area, with officials being concerned that the island ‘could tip over.’

According to a document that has been EXCLUSIVELY leaked to Southend News Network, initial survey work and geological analysis has shown that one more link road to the mainland will result in the island becoming ‘unstable,’ and as a result there would be a ‘serious and imminent’ risk of Canvey tipping over.

Derek Porous, chief geologist at the British Institute of Island Geology, studied the leaked document carefully before giving his opinions on the matter to the Southend News Network. He said, ‘Based on the findings that are contained in this report, I am actually amazed that the island is still sitting slightly to the south of Benfleet. We all recall the unfortunate incident in 1972 when Sheppey had to be towed back from the coast of Denmark, and it is now clear that building a third road may mean that Canvey residents wake up one morning in Scandinavia.’

Mr Porous added, ‘One possible solution could be to build a road bridge from the south of the island instead, although it would have to be the same length as the bridge that currently stretches from Canvey to South Benfleet to keep the island balanced.’

We then pointed out to Mr Porous that this would lead to a number of vehicles driving into the middle of the Thames.

‘This may be true, but the residents of Canvey need a third link road – it is just a shame that it can’t be linked to land because of geological concerns.’

Bella Danone, 38, is one of many long-suffering islanders who are sick and tired of the current routes to the mainland.

She said, ‘This decision is an absolute disgrace! Time and time again we are told that a third link road from Canvey just isn’t feasible, but the slightest traffic problem leads to absolute chaos. Only last week, a C2C train approaching Benfleet got confused and ended up at Station Road on Canvey. All traffic was diverted towards the A130, and I spent 19 hours trying to get around the roundabout by Morrison’s – I don’t even have a car.’

In another late development, the Southend News Network has learned that a growing number of local officials have decided to blame speeding vehicles on Roscommon Way for the decision to scrap the third road. Behind closed doors, one council member was overheard as saying that ‘Another link road will lead to more cars, and some of them may be slightly modified Subaru Imprezas.’


  1. We feel the need to pass comment on this story to allay fears about Canvey Island ‘tipping over’ from the new road. This scaremongering is simply not true.

    Whilst a new road is certainly about to start construction it is actually going to form a new Lower Thames Crossing extending across the River Thames from Fenn Street on Kent’s Isle of Grain to a new junction on the site of Canvey Central Park thence onto Furtherwick Road.

    Consultation on the scheme closed at the end of February 2016 with only three objects raised from residents of St Mary Hoo on the Isle of Grain.

    Working closely with the County of Kent and the London Port Authority it has been agreed that a river bridge could prove a hazard to navigation as well as be unpopular with local nimbys. Accordingly this new Lower Thames Crossing will be built in a simple two-way highway with a ford across the River Thames.