What the fuck gives anyone the right to judge other mums about their choice between breastfeeding and bottle feeding?

You should see these idiots on social media and forums – some of them are more ‘fundamentalist’ than Islamic State militants.

When you look at some of the comments from the ‘breast is best’ brigade, you half expect them to be hanging around the bottle warming station in Burger King, getting ready to slay the infidels who follow the teachings of SMA and Cow & Gate.

It’s like anything else these days that is a matter of personal choice.

‘I accept your right to choose, but you also have to accept my right to call you a ‘useless, cruel mother’ and possibly report you to social services.’

Here are some of the best comments that I have seen from these pricks.

‘So what if your nipples hurt?’

I only have little useless man nipples, but three seconds with a bulldog clip tells me that this particular part of the body has a number of design flaws, the main one being that it isn’t made of rubber and devoid of nerve endings.

‘Children who are breastfed grow up to be more intelligent.’

This may be true, but any intelligence gains will be counterbalanced by the ill-informed, hateful ramblings of the milk provider.

‘Just keep going and the milk will eventually come You can’t give up for the sake of your baby.’

If it doesn’t work it doesn’t work. It’s like telling someone with spina bifida that if they keep trying to not be paralysed from the waist down then eventually they will not be paralysed from the waist down. Some mothers have medical reasons for not being able to breastfeed, not ‘OMG how cud you do that to your baby’s’ reasons.

‘They could put anything in formula.’

They could, but as a rule of thumb, they don’t. See the millions of babies who die every year because they are fed formula? No, me neither.

‘How could you do that to your child?’

Do what? Feed them by any means possible so they don’t starve to death?

Maybe I am not best placed to discuss this as a man who once genuinely once believed that his wife’s milk-engorged shirt potatoes would be open for business 24/7 after childbirth, but I know a bigoted, cockwombling wankpuffin when I see one.