Thousands of protestors have marched on Downing Street in London to demand the release of 1990’s TV presenter Timmy Mallett.
The entertainer and his accomplice Pinky Punky were jailed a few weeks ago after 300 members of the public launched a class action prosecution against Mr Mallett for concussion sustained during broadcasts of Wacaday and TV-am.
It is thought that so many long-term injuries were sustained because Mr Mallett’s Mallet didn’t confirm to EU Mallet Density Regulation 102-44b – a rule that clearly states that all novelty mallets must have a density of less than 134 Rolands per square inch.
Brian Fringe, one of the many protesters who congregated at the gates of Downing Street, told Southend News Network that the demonstration was ‘definitely not a Trojan horse for assorted far-right twattery.’
He added, ‘It’s a disgrace.’
‘Once we leave the EU for good and we get our sovereigns back, beloved children’s entertainers and patriots will be able to have mallets as dense as they like.’
‘I for one, or maybe even two, will be petitioning ITV to introduce a show called Jenny’s Jackhammer Funtime Zone just to make a point.’
‘Shove that up yer Juncker, Juncker.’