Thousands of marchers who are preparing to attend a mass demonstration demanding the release of Tommy Robinson from prison have been asked if they could chuck in a couple of chants about austerity, NHS cuts and not cocking up Brexit as well. 

One source said, ‘When we heard that tens of thousands of people were planning to march on Downing Street to demand the release of a prisoner who had been thrown in prison for breaking a specific law that he had already been told not to break again or he would be sent to prison, we thought we might be able to get them to chant about a couple of things while they were there.’

’Sort of like when the gas company digs up the road and the water company shoves a pipe in at the same time.’

’You know, if it’s not too much fucking trouble.’

One protestor said, ‘I’ll try, but I’ll be pretty busy figuring out what side of the tube to get off.’