Thousands of journalists from all over the United Kingdom have been sent to prison after Tommy Robinson was jailed for journalism yesterday and the entire judicial system suddenly thought ‘bloody hell if journalism is an offence now we’d better put all the other journalists in jail because they have been committing journalism for a number of years.’
There were harrowing scenes at newspaper offices across the country as police arrived and just arrested everyone, with courts nationwide sitting through the night.
The average hearing for each journalist was just two minutes, with prosecutors asking ‘are you a journalist,’ before then proceeding to chuck everyone in prison when they answered ‘yes.’
A huge team of riot police stormed the BBC News building in Salford and arrested everyone live on air during the nine o’clock news, with a chief officer telling them that they had been spotted writing things down and then broadcasting them to a wide audience with intent to journalise.
A spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police confirmed that a taskforce has now been set up to investigate allegations of historical journalism.
He said, ‘Operation Jeremy Bowen will bring those to justice who wantonly carried out horrendous acts of journalism during the 1980’s and 1990’s.’
‘Our message is a simple one. If you studied journalism and the legal concepts that are linked to the profession, even if it was only for a few minutes, you will not get away with it.’
The operation has been named after the veteran BBC journalist and broadcaster who spent a number of years on the front line in various war zones. A police helicopter was spotted above his home in the early hours of this morning, and a SWAT team was observed walking away from the premises with a typewriter.
A Home Office junior minister said, ‘Armed officers are currently standing at all major airports, ready to arrest anyone who arrives in the United Kingdom with the intention of gathering information for a foreign media outlet.’