It has been announced that the President of the United States of America Donald Trump and the British Prime Minister Theresa May have recorded a special edition of ITV’s The Jeremy Kyle Show.
According to insider sources on the show, the episode is entitled, ‘You destroyed our special relationship, and is Boris Johnson your bastard floppy-haired lovechild?’
One said, ‘The show was filmed shortly after the President arrived in the United Kingdom, and Jeremy sat down with Theresa first of all.’
‘She mentioned him sharing Jayda Fransen’s videos on Twitter, as well as enjoying occasional sexual contact with Mexico and Canada, when suddenly you could hear Donald out the back shouting at one of the monitors.’
‘He then stormed onto the stage and shouted in her face about London being a ‘shithole,’ and Theresa just ran off screaming and found a quiet spot with Graham.’
‘Once everything had calmed down, they both got back on stage on one of Jeremy’s team gave him the envelope with those all-important DNA results.’
‘He said, ‘The DNA test results prove that you are NOT Boris Johnson’s father.’
It later emerged that the ex-foreign secretary was the result of an orgy of Moomins.