Brexit Britain received another huge boost from the government today after a senior cabinet spokesperson confirmed that all pubs in the United Kingdom will be allowed to serve beer in pints again once the nation leaves the European Union on January 31st 2020 at 11pm.
In another surprise development, all road signs across England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland will display distances in miles.
Brexiteers have reacted with excitement to the news that these imperial measurements will once again take pride of place over their Europe-inspired metric equivalents.
David Fuch-Weet told us, ‘It’s a victory for the will of the people.’
‘Just a few weeks ago, I asked my greengrocer for a pound of bananas, and he immediately called the authorities on me. No more Mr Juncker, no more of this.’
‘Just a few more days, and those bananas will be so bendy the ends will touch each other like a beautiful yellow dog turd. Sunlit uplands await.’
Although the announcement has been welcomed by many who voted Leave in 2016, there are some who are demanding further changes in weights and measures across the UK.
Mr Fuch-Weet is one of these people, and he added, ‘Now that we are unshackled from Brussels, I would love to see all petrol stations dispensing diesel and unleaded in acres.’