The Chief Constable of the UK Policing Confederation Foundation has announced that 25,000 new officers will be recruited for an exclusive taskforce that will be on 24/7 standby for people who are entering their PIN number backwards at an ATM.
Sir Miles Crane of the UKPCF told a packed press conference that so many braindead idiots had fallen for a viral Facebook post about entering a PIN backwards summoning an instant police response that they had been forced to act.
He added, ‘Approximately 86% of the entire Facebook user base have now shared a post stating that entering a PIN number backwards will send an automatic alert to your nearest police station, resulting in the immediate attendance of an entire SWAT team to try and stop the nasty person who is forcing you to take money out.’
‘We tried explaining to the general public that a palindromic PIN number like 8008 would effectively be the same both ways, but this reasoning was completely ignored because apparently the original girl who shared it had a lovely set on her profile picture.’
‘This massive investment will see a chain of 780 response centres set up all over the UK, each with a fibre-optic data connection to every ATM in the area, and each facility will be equipped with a helicopter and a sub-division of the SAS to slide down ropes and stuff like that.’
‘The entire scheme will be funded by a modest 56% increase in council tax across the board, but as far as we are concerned it will be a small price to pay in order to implement a completely unfeasible meme from Facebook.’
In other news, a barmaid called Angela from Essex has told us that she has suddenly become the most popular member of staff in her pub.
She said, ‘People just keep coming up to the bar and asking for me, and then when I ask them what they want they just stare at me blankly.’