The latest forecasts from the UK Retail Consortium have showed that the country will have more vape shops than people by 2024. 

Experts predict that the growing number of users across the nation will contribute to this rapid growth.

Vapist Nathan Narcisto said, ‘Like so many others of my kind, vaping allows me to pretend that I am in a 1980’s pop video every time I exhale.’

’Look! Watch this! Na na naaaaa na. Na na na na naaaaa. Na na naaaaa na. Na na na na na na naaaa. It’s the final countdown!’

’Every shop has its own unique range of pleasant flavours. My personal favourite is soppy c**t with a hint of rosemary.