This may look like Johnny 5, but it is in fact a bomb disposal robot.

Army and police personnel have been called to Southend seafront to deal with an unexploded item that washed up close to the Pebbles One café.

Emergency services were alerted just after 7am this morning when a pale yellow case appeared on the beach, and a robotic inspection unit carried out a full investigation while a one-mile square area was closed to the public.

At 7.35am, the item was declared safe, and a military spokesperson announced that it was a medium lamb doner kebab with onion, chilli and extra burger sauce.

He added, ‘This kind of false alarm is becoming more and more common, as every night brings thousands of revellers to the area. After consuming a huge amount of alcohol, these meals are purchased as a matter of course, and the natural reaction when discovering the sheer horror that lies inside is to hurl it into the sea with as much force as possible.’

After the Rumbaba landmine that was discovered in Thundersley in 2013, security officials have confirmed that all washed up items from local takeaways will continue to be treated as potentially lethal.



  1. The emergency services were quite right to treat this with suspicion.

    Indeed hopefully they will find where the kebab came from and start an investigation as to why somebody felt it necessary to add burger sauce.

    No wonder it was abandoned.